Tuesday, March 30, 2010
My Dr asked how I was doing with the list of "no-no's" she had given to me and I was as honest with my replies. I've had lower back issues off and on for 3 or 4 days now. By today it's pretty much constant discomfort sprinkled with abdominal cramping...otherwise known as pre-term labor.
The Dr after some Q & A thinks that my high stress night (post family birthday dinner) probably re-increased my stress level and that's what started me further down the path I am on. She increased my list of bedrest rules and got me set up for a 24 hour urine test (to confirm I have pre-eclampsia...she's pretty sure I've moved up a level into that from just high blood pressure) and a sonogram to rule out IUGR because she said at this point she'd be shocked if they didn't have to move up my c-section date.
So I've got weekly OBGYN appointments from now on. I've got a sonogram on the 14th. And I've got strict instructions that if my blurry vision gets worse, or I get a headache I can't cope with, or upper torso cramps of any kind that I immediately go to the hospital because at this point the baby is far enough along she could be born and avoid me going into full fledged eclampsia or toxemia. She sees no need for me to turn yellow and loose liver function again like I did with Layla and she says we're on that path again...lucky us...
So if you're in the due date pool at work...the end of April is looking better for your odds.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
A night spent talking over the whimpering toddler about how the only time we have this problem. A night spent talking about how ridiculous it is that we're still talking about it months later. Mostly, a night talking about what to do about it.
By the next morning I was beat. Mom was coming in the morning to help watch Layla and had to manage most of the morning because I just didn't have the strength or the flexibility in my already high blood pressure. We decided a car ride might be in order and the result was some yard sale finds (I'll post about that later) and lunch at Mr. Pickle where I introduced my mom to the Hot T which is my favorite sandwich.
Naptime was much needed. I am not sure how Jon managed to get up for work at 4 am and still be awake at my birthday dinner with George and Devon without taking a nap. I took a 2 hour nap and still woke up physically spent. But dinner with George and Devon was awesome.
Before dinner, Jon and I picked up a few baby registry items and I spent a little birthday money. After dinner, we got to hang out with them a little more. I'm glad I paced my birthday celebrations I don't think I could have managed one jam packed day.
Today brings lunch and pedicures with a girl-friend. This will be the last stop on the birthday bandwagon (tonight we have an event to go to but it's not birthday related). Turning 31, minus the cat dander was amazingly simple.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Last nights pizza and cheesecake with the family went over really well. My dad, my mom, my grandfather & his girlfriend and eventually my dad's girlfriend came over to join the yummy food. Layla enjoyed an evening of being the center of everyone's attention. Then she stayed up way past her bedtime which she also enjoyed.
I am definitely 9 months pregnant. I was pooped by the end of the evening and I didn't even have to really do anything.
Tonight we have dinner with another couple we love to hang out with. It's an Outback night. Yummy!
Friday, March 26, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
In fact you are so in love with the concept of a dog that you pretend to be one. You point them out on the side of the road. You ask to touch every one that gets close to you. You watch movies about them. You play with stuffed ones. You have an excellent lone wolf howl and a decent bark and pant down for pretend play. You also rock a game of fetch.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
I know... I'm becoming such a hippie.
Here are some things I've fallen in love with recently...
The Granny Hobo Bag in Brown and Cream Fillagrees on Pale Turqouise by Ally Bu
Cherry Heart Stoneware Pottery Pendant by Red Crow Arts
Organic Baby Wrap in Olive and Blue by LoveyDuds
Silver Random Wire Stud Earrings by Twisted Designs
Silver Bar Name Stamp Pendants by Artofsilver
Stargazing Print by Julie Fain
Deluxe Supernatural Mary Winchester Protection Charm Bracelet by Laughing Vixen Lounge
oh there are so many more...but these will get you started on some awesome shopping adventures...
Holding Out for a Hero Bracelet by SpaceHappy
Monday, March 22, 2010
So I have been thinking of a few things I'd like to do during that "bonding time" other than sitting around the house getting to know each other. With Jon's flexible scheduling at work we often have time midweek to throw something in. If we can afford it (which is a big if right now when I don't know how much my compensation will be while we're out) these are some things I've been thinking about doing.
- I would like to take Layla to the Monterey Bay Aquarium and to check out the tide pools in that area.
- I would like to check out the Chaffee Zoo again in Fresno now that my girly is a little older
- My mom has expressed interest several times in taking Layla to Golden Gate Park and the Exploratorium
- Go to the Patterson Apricot Fiesta in June
- Attend the Stanislaus County Fair in July and see the Beach Boys
- Take a road trip to someplace like Columbia or Sonora or Old Town Sacramento
- Attend a Renaissance Faire (although this might not happen until Sept when Pleasure Faire happens at Casa de Fruta)
Some more local and small scale things I am looking forward to include...
- Toddler Story time at the local library once I can drive again
- The return of the Downtown Turlock Farmer's Market in May
- Being able to go to the park and actually keep up with my toddler because I am no longer very pregnant
- Taking Layla to a place where she can paint pottery
- Swimming Lessons at the local city pool
Most if not all of the things on this list I am looking forward to doing with both my girls (maybe not the swimming lessons) because I think it will be good for Layla to see that you can still do a million fun things while sharing Mommy with your sister.
Any ideas for other things I could try in the area?
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Being home (while forgiven of the stresses of working) adds a different bundle of anxiety. Twenty four hours a day with a toddler, spending all your free time with either you mom or your husband (no matter how much you love them) and not being able to do anything by yourself or go anywhere alone...well... it's exhausting...for everyone. Add to that an unknown decrease in income yet to be determined between SDI and my supplemental disability insurance, some HR paperwork that just keeps trickling into my mailbox and the constant destruction of my carpet that can only be caused by a small person who knows you're already busy... well... it's going to be a long 5 to 6 weeks.
This week should be a fun one though. Layla's 1/2 birthday post will be up a day or two early because I will be enjoying some birthday fun this weekend. Friday night my family is coming over for pizza and cake. Then Saturday night we have dinner with another couple. Sunday I get 2 fun things in one day... lunch and a pedicure with a girlfriend followed by a Wrestlemania gathering we've been invited to. Yes, I am a wrestling dork, yes, I am excited.
What about you? Any fun plans this week?
Saturday, March 20, 2010
I worry about what it means to have two babies...a concept I've never had to personally deal wiht on my own. But mainly, I worry about losing a little of that spit fire girl with the stripped tights and the polka dot dresses that I spend so much time with lately. I hope she never feels like 1 of 2. I want her always to have the confidence to be who she is and to love wildly and live freely.
In that same time I worry that she will take time to adapt to feeling like part of a bigger family because I want her to know the feeling of companionship and love that comes with the comfort of having a sibling so close in age...a constant comrade if you ever really need one. I want her to always know that they can be 2 verses the world. Together.
Maybe it's a really pregnant thing to worry. Maybe it's a mom thing. Maybe it's just a me thing. But it tells me I must be on the right path because I know if I am thinking about it then it wouldn't accidently slip passed me.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
When Laylabug came downstairs the front door was open and I had told her earlier that she could go outside after nap so when she put up a valiant request (shoes on & sunglasses in hand) I grabbed my camera, cell phone and half a pepsi and headed outside to be a good sport. Now I must add at this point my child is wearing an adorable short set but I am fresh out of the shower with a sundress on (without a bra) and no shoes on but I figure it won't matter.
She finds her bike in the garage and peddles it around a bit. It's the first time she's actually been able to successfully peddle alone, her legs are finally long enough. After awhile the white trash neighbors keep driving in and out and I talk her into going to play in the shade with chalk. I attempt to sit in a nice chair in the grass but am drug by one finger onto the concrete to draw as well.
At this point the afternoon is lovely, there is a breeze and my kid is happily coloring with chalk on the sidewalk. Although, I am having some discomfort because I'm way too pregnant to be sitting on concrete I just suffer through it sending texts to my mom (who ended up taking longer than expected to show up at the house to help after Jon went to work) and trying to keep my kid from drinking my entire pepsi.
Laylabug alternates between running in circles around me (I blame the pepsi) and drawing with me on the sidewalk. She jumps around on the porch, dings the wind chimes, digs in the dirt a bit and dispite being uncomfortable I am thinking this is WONDERFUL.
Then the cat came. The neighbor has cats. I think she has 3...there might be 4. They are mostly outside cats and I spend a lot of time being bitter that I find them in my back yard, or their feces in my front yard or worse yet...their furry little faces rubbing on my front screen door when Layla gets too close to the door. With a kid with SEVERE cat allergies that sort of stuff pisses you off. They are pretty much stray cats she feeds, they seldom interact with them or clean up after them. Pisser.
So the first 3 times the cat comes up I try to scare it off with normal tactics. I use the "sk sk sk" scare a cat away noise the first time, I shoo it away with my hand waving the chalk box (because I can't touch it and touch Layla), I throw a pepsi can at it in a moment of desperation...then the 4th time I actually pour an entire bucket of water at the cat and it runs off to the neighbors yard.
I decide that was too close for comfort so I start packing up the kid, the chair, the electronics, the chalk and as I am carrying that stuff into the house I give Layla a watering can to water the dead flower pot on the porch until I can come back for her. Getting a toddler in the house takes 2 hands.
When I round the corner to get her I am just in time to watch the cat rub her shoulder. Her bare shoulder which is wearing the cutest top ever which will not protect her from the cat. I freak out on the cat and it runs away as I am screaming. Then I try to act like it's not a big deal. Layla is already scratching (30 seconds into the encounter) and by the time I trick her into the garage and shut the door behind her 3 things have happened.
A minor fit has started because she doesn't want to go inside yet and the garage door starts to be pounded by little angry fists, when not pounding on the garage door she is scratching her face with both hands and mid protest...a scream gets stuck and is replaced by a wheeze. (Probably 3 minutes into this experience).
I throw the kid over my shoulder and take her kicking and screaming into the house. I try to give her liquid albuterol (by the way, ever try to swallow while you can't breath...it was tragic). I wash her face and shoulder. I turn to see her vomit all over the kitchen floor. I give her benadryl instead. Then I try to calm her down.
There are 3 problems at this point. 1. She still wants to go outside so she's pissed 2. She's itchy and she now knows that doesn't have to happen. 3. She's still a little wheezy.
I get in a movie and we calm down enough that I can change the blow out diaper that is a result of screaming and medicine. So far we have one every time we take the asthma med. And I watch as my kid slowly cranks up.
The label on albuterol should say "the good news is they'll breath, the bad news is you'll want to smother them". When Laylabug takes it she sometimes gets shakey, sometimes moody, mostly she gets a little crazy. I think it's an adrenaline thing.
Mom arrived and off and on the rest of the night we battled the worlds longest fit. Laylabug got so itchy she stripped naked and insisted on staying that way until bedtime. I had to lather her down twice with lotion and she may or may not have gone to bed with chocolate on her face 45 minutes later than her normal latest ever bedtime. All the while, I've been having stress contractions (there were only 3 things the Dr said not to do and I did 2 of them in a row trying to save my kid from El Gato... I picked up a heavy object (more than once) and I did something stressful instead of laying on my left side when my vision got blurry from my blood pressure going through the roof).
I took a picture of her mid-throws-of-anguish because some people still don't get it but it makes me want to cry to look at her tear streaked miserable little face. I don't feel like parent of the year already being as I couldn't protect her from the cat or make the horrible feeling that caused the tantrum of all tantrums go away. I don't even want to talk about the tantrum, it makes me have contractions and it makes my heart hurt.
I hate cats. I really dislike irresponsible cat owners. You want a cat...keep it at your house in your yard. If I had a dog and it hung out in your yard you'd throw a fit but if it's a cat people just act like it's no big deal. Those people, they need to live my life for one night...
So much for St Patricks Day
Monday, March 15, 2010
There are strechmarks under my shirt. Their are crumbs under my kitchen table. Something is probably staining or crunching into my carpet at any given time. There are things piled at random in the bottom of every closet. If you come over without calling first you'll probably find the livingroom looking sort of like this.
The reality is that parenthood is not glamorous. You don't wear make-up to play with the play dough. You sport a pony tail more than you do the polished look of the hair straightener. Sometimes you spend so much of a day in your pajamas that when you finally do get dressed you just clean into new clean pajamas.
It's not that parenthood is lazy. It's not that parenting is so hard that you can't get it all done. It's that at some point you love someone enough that spending quality time with them is more important than the 5 minutes to apply perfect eyeliner or that extra trip to the store is worth. I do not sit home all day and wait for life to happen. I am swallowed alive by life at any given moment and living it is a full time job.
Parenting is practical. It cleans up at the end of the day. It gets dinner on the table. It knows when to brush it off and when to kiss it to make it better. Parenting is picking battles and picking up things you can't identify off the floor before you vacume.
The reality of parenthood is that it's about choices. It's about how you sleep, what you eat, what you say & how you say it. It's about learning from your mistakes.
Maybe the reality is that your learn to find beauty in the mess.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
The girls/ladies brought my lovely gifts for Anyah and a wide assortment of wipes and diapers.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Jon's cousin Sarah made the trip up last night to throw me an awesome baby shower today. We had it at a local mexican food place everyone loves. My mom made the cutest little favors and Jen got an adorable cake and it was good times. Anyah got some great stuff. (Pictures probably tomorrow I'm tired now and I have heartburn so I am not putting forth the effort).
After Sarah left to head back home we ended up running Layla to my mom's for some free babysitting/Nannie time and we went out to visit with our friends George & Devon who I always love hanging out with. Then we returned somethings we had gotten duplicates of to the Target and got some other things that we hadn't recieved off the registry. We also finished the shopping for Layla's Easter basket so I don't have to worry about that holiday anymore.
So now it's just the count-down to my birthday and a few small errands that need to get run tomorrow. Anyone want to take a pregnant lady that can't drive to Walmart and the grocery store?
Thursday, March 11, 2010
About a month ago I stopped driving in the dark. For the most part I only drive when it's necessary anyhow...to work and back, to the store, to the bank...stuff like that.
I parked in the garage. I let my kid play in the car with her happy meal (she likes that) and I took the picture above.
Praise Jesus it was just a trial of the emotions and not something much more scary.
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
The second thing I'd like to point out is that I am 8 months pregnant and those jeans are the jeans I bought Jon's birthday weekend at Old Navy on our way home from San Francisco. They fit in August and they still fit now. It's vaguely creepy.
Monday, March 08, 2010
Is it any wonder then that my daughter is so zealous about food?
Sunday, March 07, 2010
and you know what that means?
My baby is turning from a toddler to a preschooler and soon enough when the new baby comes she'll start to really look like a big kid to me...
My own handy little helper.
Saturday, March 06, 2010
- Now that Layla is back on a reasonable schedule with some structure she is doing much better and we've phased from TERRIBLE 2 back to totally awesome toddler. I've decided to wait until I am home on maternity leave to work on potty training because so far the only person she appears to be interested in impressing with her pee in the potty is Mommy. Oh well...she's only 2.
- Both of the lovely people I asked to spend time with me on/near my birthday have made room in their busy schedules for me. In addition, several people RSVP'd for my shower this week (after some prompting that yes you do actually have to RSVP - just kidding- love you guys!) so now I just need to figure out if there will be some sort of family Birthday-something-or-other. I called my dad about that 4 days ago and he said he'd call me when he got home... I'm sure he's home by now... so I think we're just putting it off.
- I think I have decided what the Easter Bunny is allowed to bring Layla. Rest assured (some of you actually emailed me) there will be candy...there was always going to be candy it's a tradition but last year we ate candy from Easter well into June and I didn't want to repeat that.
- Dying eggs with a 2 year old... it scares me... opinions?
- Everytime I put something on my registry at Target I get the email from someone saying...I went to buy a fill in the blank and it says it's out of stock until the end of life as we know it. Now it's the swing. So there are 2 swings on my registry...hopefully at any given time one will be in stock, hopefully....(but I only need one)
- My daughter has been carrying around a picture frame with a picture on one side of me and Nannie (my mom) and a picture of me and Papa (my dad) on the other side. She went to sleep with it last night in bed with us. When I asked why she said that Papa was sleepy. Papa needs to visit more.
- I need to go to the library. I have cookbooks to pick up. It's my new brilliant idea to check out cookbooks before I buy them because I have more than a few cookbooks that I wish I didn't own even though I collect them. For instance, the Grandma's Casserole book...disgusting...anyone want it?
- Layla seems to be having a growth spurt. I do believe we're going to be a 3T before summer. Which means, I need to get to yard sale and consignment shopping. I hate paying full price for summer clothing, it's so expensive and they only wear it for a few months.
- My child has taken to alternating between counting EVERYTHING and singing to herself. This means she is talking constantly, usually in her own language. It's pretty cute.
- The baby (Anyah) dropped some this week. While lightening means that labor will eventually come, WebMD says it could be anywhere between tomorrow and never so I think I'll just be glad for the break on my lungs. She still hasn't dropped all the way as I don't have horrible pelvic pressure but it was better then it was.
- I have an OBGYN appt on Tuesday
- Jon's student loan lein is finally paid off. Hallelujah!
- Prayer request- EMC still has an H1N1 policy that will keep my daughter from seeing the new baby in the hospital and me from seeing anyone for 3 days. Please pray they reverse the policy before Anyah comes
- Pop's wife has been moved to a "rehab" facility. At this point she is still refusing to do things like physical therapy (her choice but she's gonna shrivel up and lose all the muscle she has left) so that's not looking to good. Pop and mom are doing better though now that they can go visit and then go home and not take care of someone while having COPD (Pop) or Arthritis (Mom)
- If I missed anything that you are still waiting for a status update on, please let me know and I'll add more bullets.
Friday, March 05, 2010
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
- travel to europe with my kids & husband to take cheesy pictures in front of famous places in history
- take a vacation to mexico without the kids & drink too much and eat tacos by the sand with my husband
- host a girls event monthly at my house (book club, recipe group, bunco?) where people can laugh & enjoy each others company
- taught my daughters every family recipe I know so that someday they can teach their daughters
- went camping in big trees with my hippie friends and played cards next to the fire well into the night while talking about ghosts and the good life
- hosted a catered big event for my family to have just as a family reunion once a year at someplace local so everyone would come
- created a piece of artwork I was so proud of that I hung it in my livingroom and smiled whenever I thought of it
- owned my own home where my kids hung out and swam in a pool in the backyard while my husband bbq'd and I fiddled with the garden in the summer
- understood my relationship with God well enough to explain it to someone else who might need to hear about it to be able to start their own relationship with God
- viewed my life skills and spiritual gifts more as an opportunity to do something AMAZING and less as a trial of endurance
- finished writing my book, even if it isn't published wouldn't it be cool to say it was done and that I know how the story ends
- danced in the rain like no one was watching even if everyone was watching because I really didn't care
- found a job that I could enjoy enough to spend the rest of my life doing it and if that job also happened to pay a respectable amount of money...that would be an even better what if
- my family traveled to every state so my kids could see all the cultures that exist just within their own culture
- taught my children to love themselves, to be confident with the skills God gave them, and to be content with an every changing life
- I made the world a better place for just one person
- had a home that became the sort of place people went when they wanted to be somewhere because they felt loved well and welcomed as soon as they entered the door
- saw the world both in it's beauty but also in it's places of deep need...from the beauty of Australia to the slums of Africa and everywhere inbetween
- could get together regularly with my favorite people and play games, eat good food and laugh at the world around us
This post is a work in progress and will often be republished/updated/edited when I feel it needs to be. It is based on the post below. Thanks!
I'm almost 31 now.
In 2006, forty seemed like this far off and distant place that I had all the time in the world to get to. Now forty seems a hop skip and a jump after dinner gets done tonight. Time flies when you have kids...and priorities change.
Some of the other bloggers out there have been making "bucket lists" like in that movie... a list of things to do before you die (sounds morbid).
I know I'd wait until the last minute to do it... I'm a procrastinator like that. You'd find me on my death bed with a web page up trying to figure out if there was anything I could knock off the list without hurting myself.
What to do? What to do?
I want to make a list... but not a list before I'm 40 or a list before I die not a to do list for life... more of an "if I had time" or "wouldn't it be bitchin if" list.
So I was talking to a girlfriend about getting older, growing up, trying out life in the hardest circumstances and about how much I miss margaritas when I am preggo and I happened to call it my "what if list".
People give what if such a negative vibe. But really, what if is just another statement of hope if you spin it the right way.
What if I did some stuff if the opportunity ever presented itself... wouldn't that be bitchin?
So I am going to work on a what if list... who's with me?
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
There are 3 stages on the scale of toddler owie.
Stage 1 is the brush it off stage and usually involves doing something silly that involves bonking your head or stubbing a body part that is easily laughed about or brushed off. These are cured (in Layla's case) with physically pretending to brush it away.
Stage 2 is the kiss it away stage. Kiss it owies usually involve stepping on something pain full, small cuts and scratches and bumps hard enough to knock your wind out but not so hard to leave a bruise. These are cured (in Layla's case) with mommy puckering up and kissing toes, fingers or knees that are then magically cured by love.
Stage 3 is the medical intervention needed owie. These can't be cured by human hands...you've got to cry it out while Mommy and Daddy decide between band-aids, tylenol and runs to the same day care. These are rare (in Layla's case) most of them are eventually ended by a distraction of sugar/movie and actual medical attention.
We were flat in stage 2 when the head hit tile though. I could tell by the type of cry. It's the embarrassed with a side of mild pain cry that all moms can detect from anywhere within 50 ft as a sign they are about to pucker up to something.
I kissed her head and her feet (because they had wounded pride I guess) and then we made dinner.
If only I could always cure what ails her so easily... if only my touch and my lips could heal her forever...magically.
Monday, March 01, 2010
And while we're all counting down to meet Anyah, I think part of that count down is for some of us to just be able to stop worrying... at least for me.
Now my grandfather's wife has taken a turn for the worse at 78 years old and her family is all in TX so mom's burden doubled with having to help them whenever she isn't helping me.
I feel pretty crappy about it. So I guess this is a prayer request for those of us stuck in stressville...that we all make it out alive.